Our premise for this series is very simple: Roll some dice to determine what cards I pull, pull some cards, and improv an adventure on the spot. Super easy, right?Â
Well, below you'll find my first swing. Elapsed time: About 4 hours. Pictures of the ordeal are near the bottom.Â
January 26th, 2024
It’s my day off and Pochita won’t stop bugging me so let’s put together a dungeon with some cards and dice!
I have 3 decks:
I’ll roll a d10 because I have 3 options and want some wildcard potential.
On 1s, 4s, and 7s, I’ll pull from the Essentials deck.
1 is 1 card, 4 is 2 cards, and 7 is 3 pulls.
On 2s, 5s, and 8s, I’ll pull from the Viking Death Squad deck. Same deal, 1,2, and 3 cards from the deck respectively.
And I’ll pull from the Playing Card deck on 3s,6s, and 9s.
On Ten, I’ll flip to a random page in Electric Bastionland and drop something in.
Each pull will define an encounter that players will face, and multiple cards in a single pull will be combined into a more interesting situation or encounter!
-intermission-
So some dice were rolled, let’s talk about it! We got:
7 - hanging weight trap, explosion, pack horse corpse
6 - crystal-futuristic portal, friendly guardsman
1 - stone tower
2 - shadowy spiked feline
6 - Antlered Druid, Tuniced Warrior
8 - Druid, Drill-mech, Grick
8 - Supreme Intellect, Mounted Mouthers, Giga-Mouthers
Considering how eldritch we turn coming down to the end of the list, I think we’re setting this adventure in a Forgotten One’s laid of some sort, with an elder brain presiding over a mind controlled population that grows increasingly corrupted as players descend.
After some condensing, the basic adventure layout now looks like this:
A trapped field, forest, or mountain pass before the village adventure is set in
Livestock or wild animals killed by various traps will hint at their existence
Explosive traps
Simpler, Gravity-powered traps
Humble township built around a stone tower with a very friendly populace and guard that hides a sprawling underground system of caves
Populace is friendly and invites players to eat, stay at their homes.
Single farm worked by three farmers
Two sheep and a cow
Unusually massive food stores hidden beneath barn, some clearly stolen or otherwise purchased by violence.
Commons where villagers sit and discuss the weather and how their day is going
A smithy with a blacksmith who is “out of furnace fuel”, “injured and unable to collect fuel” and unable to perform any complex tasks
Hidden fuel stores inside
“Furnace is broken, waiting on a repair person” if found
Any sharpening or repairs will be poorly done, as if by an amateur.
A theater where very strange, hard to follow productions with nonsensical dialogue are put on
Theater director “just lets inspiration flow”
Many humble residential buildings with mixed families
In extended interactions, players notice things are off
One guardsman defends entire village
Any animal companions will be uncomfortable the entire time and not allow any villagers to touch them.
Some villagers seem a little dehydrated or hungry but unbothered
Unusual calm absent-mindedness with all villagers
conversation details that don't match reality
If players stay to eat with a villager, a neighbor will bring things over to cook because they're “fresh out and planning to resupply soon”.
Less crops, livestock, and water than should be able to sustain a population this large
No children or pet animals anywhere. Just two sheep and a cow on the farm
In-house belongings that don't match current occupants
Barely hidden signs of previous struggle
Damaged doors, walls
Old covered bloodstains
Players will be asked to help capture or kill a strange creature that's causing trouble/threatening villagers.
Arcane adepts or creature scholars will recognize a “Portal Bane”, a quadropedal dimension-hopping predator than hunts wizards in the time and space between two portals. Phases in and out of reality to avoid attacks and clear short distances.
Difficult to track unless magically
Hiding in a farmer's barn, having eaten a sheep
Wounded and terrified, sporting massive gashes made by claws or giant teeth. Will hiss in self defense and flee from an initial volley of attacks but not attack first.
If given the chance to flee, will attempt to make it back to the Tower and attempt to descent to portal at lowest level
Old stone tower that sees very little traffic. Villagers ignore it, will say it's abandoned and casually dissuade investigation because “there's nothing there”. They genuinely believe as much.
Ground floor and upper level are in disrepair and mildewed, cobwebbed.
On upper ramparts, a strange symbol made from a very cold metal no player or normal NPC can recognize can be found after a thorough search under some fallen wood.
On ground floor, a stairwell is hidden under some old-looking crates and planks of wood. Stairs lead a short way to a dead end with a flat, impossibly smooth stone wall.
A hard physical strike reveals the wall to be a magical projection that shatters with a moderate amount of force, revealing a vast underground world.
Underground chambers
Large number of humans, some goblins and orcs unseeingly and unthinkingly mining.
Some are newer, some are starving and have been here longer. Some are dead
Will not react to words, touch or injury and will continue to mine unimpeded if killed.
If physically restrained, will strain against restraints until released, exhausted, or unconscious
A sufficiently advanced or lucky mage can recognize remote animation and hypnotism and possibly dispel it
On dispel, instantly earn the attention and ire of the Supreme Intellect. All nearby miners will attack and future mouthers and Mech Warriors will be harder to surprise
Very rare goblin riding mouther serving as overseer and removing severely decomposed miners from the labor pool. Will attack immediately and until defeated.
If killed, Supreme Intellect is aware of intruders and future enemies are on alert. Patrols may begin
Wandering adventurers: Antlered Druid and Half-Elven Hero
Entered through another tunnel entrance, seeking treasure and monsters to slay
Roll reaction:
Mind controlled and feral
Badly beaten and paranoid
Exhausted and irritable
Cautious but open to collaboration
Fleeing a patrol, friendly
Fresh, progressing, and friendly
Breakoff path to alternative exit.
Deer drinking from pool of water, being stalked by Shrieking Grasper.
Grasper may flee through hole in ceiling, carrying deer if spooked
If allied, Heroes will remark that there must be many surface entrances, this is not the one they took.
Drillbot guards entrance/exit and will impede any traffic
Massive, partly unearthed portal, covered in solid rock, being dug out. Halfway through portal and trapped by rock is Supreme Intelligence, 20x20x30 flyinf brain.
If players approach, Gigamouthers emerge (1 per player).
Each combat round, d4-2 mounted mouthers emerge from deeper caverns
Brain will attempt to psychically dominate two friendlies per round
On fail, they will attempt to move within grasping range of Intellect and it will attempt to constrict and drain their brains manually (restraint and difficulty taking actions one round, instant kill next round if not interrupted)
If gravely wounded, Brain emits psychic scream to scatter enemies at top of round and begins fleeing, and retreats back into portal end of next round
I think this format could work really well for a short video format, but I want to hammer out exactly how my cards and dice will interact before i commit to filming. Video editing is absolutely exhausting, lmao.
But here's a whole damn one-to-three session adventure that just needs some numbers. Maybe I'll get it published before March!Â
This post was released early on Patreon, alonside plenty of subscriber-only posts.
